Sunday, June 3, 2012

Resigned to mediocrity

Maybe because I just woke up, or maybe it's because I genuinely cannot do anything else to aid my chances in doing well this semester, but I'm just so over study.

Before I go any further in my last minute efforts to stay calm, I just want to put it out there that I had the weirdest dream.. I've forgotten the majority of it, but when I try remembering, bits and pieces come back to me. I remember the main part. It was that the date was 12/12/12 and my entire grade from high school was there. As in.. THEY GOT MARRIED. There were dresses everywhere but it seemed like more of a formal than anything? They weren't just white - there was literally about every colour you could think of, and it was at a really hilly place, on the grass, but somehow there managed to be a grandstand..

I remember trying to run to the ceremony place and almost catching up to everyone before the big crowd ran in, but for some reason I couldn't keep up. That's when I realised it was a dream - my indicator for lucidity seems to be falling behind - I know I'm a slow runner, but when it's to that extent, I realise that I'm dreaming. Most of the time it comes too late but oh well. Anyway, I took it to my advantage and made a 4th year come in and drive me to a place.. it's weird because I've never actually talked to her in my entire life, but anyway that's besides the point, she drove me to some place so I could talk to a friend who's at the coast. My lucidity probably wasn't at its best because I ended up at the grandstands, hiding away, but I managed to control that and get back to the 4th year's car. I remember her words were along the lines of, "I'm glad you didn't take all night" and I remember feeling really bad because I realised that she'd been waiting for me that entire time. There are some really hazy moments from that point forward because I woke up and then went back to sleep, but basically I got people to quiz me about tomorrow's test. +1 for at least partial lucid dreaming?

ANYWAY back to the point. It's 10:12am and I honestly really need to start revising, considering my tests start tomorrow, just over 24 hours away. I swear.. I'm never going to do handwritten notes ever again. It's such a waste of time. Well, aesthetically it's probably an amazing choice but time-wise, it just takes so long and I don't think for my purposes that it's worth it. I'm pretty sure I could have covered 10-20 times the amount of content that I've been able to, just because I'm really big on the whole consistency thing, so I kept going. Fucking worst move ever. I think during last week, I went through about 6 weeks' worth of content per day, as opposed to not even 1 week's per day.. so there's definitely an improvement. Maybe I'll handwrite everything, but I've found that flow charts are really useful.

From ^ this, to v this.

Just as a comparison.. I'm shuddering to think my handwriting became so bad.. but at the same time, I'm just glad that I managed to pick up. As you can probably see, I love flowcharts, and in fact, that entire book on the bottom is now full of flow charts.. well, half full. And it's probably clear that I've pretty much disregarded the lines in the book. I might as well get a book with no lines next semester because that's going to be so much easier, like it's going to save me so much time. I'M HONESTLY SO KEEN TO CHANGE MY STUDY HABITS.

I told myself that I'd sleep/wake up early this morning, and as usual that didn't happen. Instead, I wrote out my entire metabolic map, not from memory of course, but by the end of today, it will be!

Sah proud of it. :-) I need to be able to do it by memory though and omfg idk why but I can never do the urea cycle properly URGH. APPARENTLY IT'S THE EASIEST PATHWAY BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT. /CREY

Anyway, I should probably get back to studying now. I've got the entire day to work!


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