Tuesday, June 5, 2012

One down.. two to go

I don't even know why I'm awake right now.. yet again, I said that I was going to go to sleep """"early"""" and it's almost 12am. Considering I had an exam today, I really should be going to sleep. Maybe I should be stressing more, I don't know. I think I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I'm not going to do as well as I'd hoped. To be honest, I'm still in that mindset. Even through last year, everything was about doing well and achieving my full potential. My entire mentality revolved around these self-motivators:

  • I was smart enough to achieve everything in high school, so why is this any different?
  • It's all straight knowledge, so it should be easy to do well

I think I really need to learn the balance between studying and going out and what not. I just feel like if I'm not studying, then someone's going to judge me.. or something crazy like that. I know perfectly well that I'm being totally irrational, but while I'm still on relatively "easy street", I might as well take advantage of the lessened workload compared to what older years are going through right now. At the same time, I guess I don't really NEED to work as hard. As it stands, I probably could have sat the exams a few weeks ago and passed.

To be honest, this test that I sat today was a massive wake-up call. Usually I'd know my level of performance during an exam. Last year, there was not a single end of semester exam I walked out of feeling uneasy. It was a very different format and I really do much prefer it that way.. but what can you do? Legitimately, I would have really liked to do incredibly well this semester,  because let's face it, when you study, you intend to learn stuff. Today didn't show that. They assessed stuff I hadn't even looked over, and I'm cringing to think just how many marks I lost. The only comfort that's keeping me sane (barely) is the fact that today's test was the least weighted.. but at the same time it scares me because the other tests could potentially be much, much more difficult.

I'll say it now, but I got absolutely demolished on today's test. I'm preparing myself for failure and I'm not going to be surprised if I have to sit supps. I hope I don't. That 50% mark is just so close.. I hope 50% is the threshold. I'll be so angry if it isn't, because I heard that they bell curve us here which kind of sucks.

ANYWAY that aside, I ate SO MUCH today to drown my sorrows. Started off with a nice, enormous serving of muesli for breakfast and then went over a few things before going to uni for our exam. By the end of it, I was exhausted and so we went to Masala for lunch but it was closed. Far out WHY does it have to be closed on a Monday.......... we always make that mistake. Instead, we went to Maccy Ds and I just got a chicken & cheese burger and chips with sprite.. something small to suffice while we waited for Masala to open. We ran into a whole lot of people at Stockies and I honestly didn't want to talk about the exam but oh well.. eh.. I got an orange almond slice and cookies & cream ice chocolate from Gloria Jean's HOLY FUARK IT'S LIKE MY FAVOURITE DRINK IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

THENNNNNNNNNNNN we went to Masala and I walked out wanting to go to sleep. I was going to go to sleep..

Nek minnit, watching Deuce Bigalow. Such a good movie omfg but I wanted to go to sleep :(

Ahh well.

On another note, my 3rd stitch phone case came AND SOMEONE SCRATCHED THE METAL. I think it scratched when I was in Sydney.. my cousins were playing with my phone case and just detatched it.. fuark oh well. I'll just get another phone in a few years. Now that it's got scratches and what not, I guess I can just chuck in my bag. I think I'm going to change the case just because yeah.. I couldn't really stop my cousins from doing it though, particularly because one of them was going through such a hard time. It's a small price to pay for a minute of escaping the reality of what happened..

ANDDDDDD I made the med1 party event for Thursday. So farking keen, you have no idea whatsoever.. I'm just glad the worst exam is over. No matter how badly I did, I just want to pass. It's quite unfair though I wreckon, because last year's mid-year KFP was NOWHERE as hard as ours was. It was honestly so bad and I had no legitimate clue about a big chunk of it.


No comments:

Post a Comment