When I was in Sydney, one of my cousins came down the day after and had a chat to me about Facebook privacy and such. I'm actually quite scared about what could happen to me.. so.. in the next few months, I'll be changing everything so I'm virtually unfindable on the internet. Not quite sure how I'm going to do it though, how to go about it..
It's just that my cousin is a doctor and told me to be really careful, especially as a med student.. and when I do rotations and give out my name, I don't really want to be traceable as such. I just want to take precautions and what not so that I'm safe.
I guess I'll have to change my email addresses and stuff, and make sure my name (at least my full name) isn't anywhere to be found. I may even need to make another email address just for social networking sites and associate myself publicly as an alias, well not really, just not putting my full name. Ack. So.. freaking.. inconvenient. I guess it's reasonable though, but it just makes me feel like I'm growing up. Like.. really growing up. And I'm not sure whether I like that - I mean, I'm turning 19 this year! I remember when I was 15.. not even that, like.. when I started high school. Far out, time goes so effing quickly, I can hardly believe it sometimes. Everything has passed pretty much like a click of my finger - it's crazy. I thought high school would take forever to be over with, but it passed pretty much in the space of 24 hours (figuratively, of course), and first year dent just flew even more quickly. I've heard that the older years pass by even more quickly.
Semester 1 has gone incredibly fast. Exams are literally just around the corner and I'm still stuck here. I left Townsville on Tuesday and it's already Saturday.. I'm finished exams in about 5 days and then I'll have six weeks of just pure bliss. I've got a fair bit more to cover before Monday, and I'm not quite sure how much I can realistically do before I completely burn out.
I guess I haven't really posted since like.. idk 6 months ago or something. I'll fill you in on my life in a few days. I'm moving back onto Blogspot, simply because it's the easiest blogging platform and I can write about whatever I want without making my posts seems stupid or too long. In saying that, I'm still going to use Tumblr just because I'm so attached to it - eh seems lame but whatever. It's almost 12am and I've had pretty much zilch sleep.
I'm starting to hallucinate and my head feels like I'm going to fall off a bridge and commit. Literally. Ahh well, I'm sort of resigned to the fact that I may not do that well this semester, but this feeling is something I'm going to have to get used to. I'm not sure what's wrong with me - the competitive streak is still in me, but even though it's not really directed at anyone, I still want to do the best I can. Even while I sit here typing this, I have this inkling to want to open my biochem books and just write out biochemical pathways, simply because I don't really know them as much as I probably should. My knowledge base feels very.. inadequate at the moment and I absolutely hate that feeling. It's gotten to the point where I've spent far too much time to be happy to be achieving mediocrely. It feels really good to get that off my chest and see myself admitting it. I don't know whether I'll ever be able to rid myself even partial competitiveness. I hate seeing it in other people, but I guess that's because it's something I utterly detest in myself.
However, at the same time, I guess it's good to push myself, but perhaps not to the point where my brain is legitimately struggling to keep awake. I can actually see double vision and it's horrible. Anyway, sleep is awaiting me and I'll update this every few hours to keep myself sane.